Monday, July 30, 2012

Broken Mirror

I had never met someone so similar to me. Until I met you.

So much freaking resemblances that I used to think that at some point we would know and understand each other's thoughts. But i was wrong about you.... actually, I don't know what is really on your mind. I don't know why you always think that I'd betrayed you, when you are one of those friends that I've really treasured and put hearty friendship into. I might act like I don't care, or I might not loved you like how you've  wanted to. And I've always have problem expressing my feelings, to you, no exception. But one thing I'm very sure of, when I'm really really mad, sad or disappointing to someone I really care, I won't talk to them for awhile. I'm well aware words that are spoken can't be taken back. Plus my shitty temper, I was scared that I would say things that I'll regret when my EQ is at its lowest pit. So I thought bringing cold shoulder into the zone would be the best solution, hoping that time will sweep every bad things away and then we will be okay again.

But you came and made me realized alot of things. I see myself in you. I learnt about myself. I was so happy with your presence, until I don't know how and when things started to go wrong. It hurts me so much. Unlike you, I don't like to show my weakness to the others. This is one of the leo ppl's traits i guess ha. Trying to hide the pain under the poker face actually hurt so much more wtf. And hell, this is the only thing that I didn't being honest with you.

I sincerely hope that the stupid vicious cycle drop at the very last time we stopped it. It is torturing. Let be really honest with each other. There is no other ppl who know ourselves more that we are. I was weak and careless, to let certain ppl got into my clear judgments. FYI, I'd became such soft hearted and weak after I came here ha. So much contradictions to all the things you had said about me.

I also isn't fake when I've no choice but to be good to someone I dislike, you know who I meant here don't you ;)